What do I do?

December is the month where people would say month of joy, but I have seen myself in everything but joy. I use to have a good life. Most parents doesn't know that the things they say can effect the kid and damages them permanently.  Being a teen I go through face like other teen around my age are facing. I'm not like them I'm responsible, I'm mature and I'm a thoughtful person. Having to help out around my house at the age of 9. When other kids are learning how to read from their parents I was getting yelled at for not knowing how to read bills. My parents didn't speak English so it was a must for me to understands every English thing even though I've only been here for short period of time. I go to all the doctor's appointment and meetings so I can translate for them. Now being older my parents are saying I'm acting out being disrespectful. They always told me to speak my mind yet they yell at me for doing it. My father got mad at me for not taking his side and I was the one getting yelled at even though my brother did the exact same thing. Being Asian respect plays a big part in our culture. I was told to teach my brother to respect me because I was bullied by him even though he was younger. One time I was singing and he yelled at me and told me to stop I told him that it was my mouth and it's not his house so I began singing agian. He walked up and slapped me. I busted my lips because I had braces. I then told my parents about it, I end up getting yelled at instead. They said it was my fault because I was challenging him to do something about it. As I get older I began to get blame for more and more stuff. They always use the excuse that my brother was too young to understands anything. But when I was his age I get yells at for not knowing how to do something to help out the family. Why is that? They always said that they love both of us equally, but it's funny how they show it. Few weeks ago my family went through a tough time it almost fell apart. My dad then asked me if I was satisfied that our family was becoming like this.  I asked him what does he meant by that he said you're older know so you know exactly what I mean. He told my mom that he will never forget what i said. I asked my brother what happen why didnt you guys leave? When i saw them coming back, my intention was that i was worried for them to see if they needed help or aomething .but to my dad he thinks i wanted them to leave. So i told my mom that the things he said to me he never once told my brother. Those things he said to me  I will remember for the rest of my life. Now she's mad at me because what I said Was disrespectful. Also about 2 years ago my parents got into a fight. I couldn't take it anymore due to the fact that they fight every week. So I left the house I was just going to go for a run but then my dad thought I was being disrespectful and thought I wanted to leave. He told me if I leave then don't ever come back. I later saw my dad car driving around and i went and hid behind a car.So I left and called my friend to say goodbye, if it wasn't for her I would not be here today. She and her cousin went drove around looking for me. I went to their house and called my mom saying I'm staying at her place and asked if I can stay for the night. My mom told me that I had 15 min. to get home or else. I got home and I got in trouble andshe told me to go and apologize to my dad. He told me that he No longer have daughter like me. So basically I got disowned.  I just don't know what to do. I've spent the past couple of days thinking of how I Can die I just don't know anymore. I want to die but I do not want to go to hell when I Comit a suicide.  Was I a mistake child? Isthat why theyare treating me like this? What do I do?? I go to schoolwwith asmile everyday. Because I don't want my friends to know, I feel embarrass by it I have nobody that I can talk to.